Paige

12 Feb Paige

Hello my name is Paige Waterman. I am 30 years old and I am a recovering addict. I have had many addictions in my life. I grew up in a loving home with both of my parents, my sister, and a brother. When I was 13 years old, I started drinking occasionally on weekends with my friends. Then it turned into smoking weed along with drinking. It eventually became smoking weed during the week before school, after school, and whenever I could get the chance. I did this for a couple years and never really thought much about it, or that is was a problem -just thought it’s what kids did. During this time I started also smoking cigarettes, which quickly turned into smoking every day. When I was a freshman in high school, I was on the swim team. I always lived a double life. I would attend practice and swim meets and I gave my all while I was there. My parents were always at my swim meets to cheer me on. But, when I wasn’t at swimming- I was smoking cigarettes and weed, then drinking. There were times my friend and I would drink and smoke weed before school.

When I was 15 years old, I got pregnant and I was determined I was going to live a great life. I stopped smoking cigarettes, doing weed and drinking. I would still go to parties with all of my friends and I would drive people home. After I had my son I started smoking cigarettes again and drinking on the weekends, and I got a DUI shortly after. When I was 16/17 years old I started experimenting with other drugs. I started doing ecstasy on the weekends along with continuing to drink and smoke weed. All week I couldn’t wait for fridays because I knew I had the next 2 days to do drugs. I then started doing cocaine/crack on top of all of these other drugs. When I started doing cocaine it took over fast and I started spending every penny I had on cocaine/crack. I decided to graduate high school mid year and not do swim team my senior year. I would stay out late during school nights smoking crack, staying up all night and going to school exhausted from being up for 2 or 3 days. My parents took on taking care of my son because I was either not home or sleeping when I was. I started to steal from my loved ones and others that I knew so that I could support my habit.

I was arrested a month after my 18th birthday for theft and forgery. I went to jail for a week and was let out on an O.R. bond with stipulations that I could not drink or do drugs. I stayed home for a few weeks but then eventually started going back out and doing the same things. I couldn’t pass drug tests when my sentencing date came up I was sentenced to the W.O.R.T.H. center in Lima, Ohio for 6 months. My parents came to see me every weekend with my son. They never gave up on me. When I was released on probation from there, I still didn’t think I had a problem. When I came home from Lima I started working a full time job. I enrolled in college and got an apartment for my son and I. At this time I thought if I had a problem- like some of these people had told me- I wouldn’t be able to do any of this. I still drank from time to time while I was on probation and After about a year or so, My son started going to my parents more and more while I went out and drank.

I was on probation for 3 years. The day I was released off of probation I left the probation office and smoked some weed and went straight out and drank that night.

I then started to smoke crack occasionally. I eventually stopped going to classes, dropped out of college and my son spent a lot of time at my parents. I started working at this game room in Lima which was where I always went to get my drugs anyway. I would have my drugs delivered to my work and I would steal money from my job to pay for my drugs. I had started taking xanax to help sleep after being up for a couple of days. I also started taking other pills and this all went on for a couple of years. When I was 22 years old I tried heroin. After trying this drug for the first time it didn’t take long to start doing heroin everyday to have to have it to get out of bed, to go to work, and to basically function. I would be late to work because I would get high before. This drug took over my life quickly. I put my life in danger so many times just for this drug and I even ripped off drug dealers in Dayton just to get more than what I had the money for. I have been chased and shot at by the drug dealers in Dayton. When I think about it now it seems so crazy to me that I would drive to Dayton to meet up people I have never met before in my life at anytime time day or night just to get my drugs. At that time I didn’t think I was that bad because I didn’t use a needle to do heroin, but within a short time I started using a needle to do heroin. I still at this time didnt think I had a problem. I could stop if I wanted to, but I just didn’t want to. I went through job after job because I would either get fired for missing too many days, I would steal money from my work places and would either get caught and fired or I would quit before I would get caught. I would steal from anyone I could. This went on for years. By this point in my life my parents had my son full time. I would go out to their house to see him and spend time with him. I would move back home for a short time then choose to leave and live whereever I could find a place to sleep. I hated facing my family because I had wronged them so many times and they would give me chance after chance and I would blow it. I had ran into so many close calls where I would have mixed one too many drugs or did too much heroin and I would wake up and not have a clue of what I had done the 24 hours before that. And I would wake up just to do the exact same thing that almost cost my life.

At 28 years old I was arrested for felony theft and receiving stolen property. I spent a week in jail and was released on a O.R. bond with stipulation that I could not drink or do drugs. That same day I was released I went and got high. I went and got a job and started working while getting high. I would go to my court dates and I wouldn’t get drug tested… This went on for about 5 months before I was finally tested on my court date and I ended up going straight to jail. Which then within 3 weeks the let me out on another O.R. bond with stipulations that I have to daily drug test. I only made it out 10 days before I was arrested for a failed drug test. I then sat in jail for 6 months. My mom would come visit me and bring my son to see me. I would talk to my dad on the phone. I didn’t really work on myself in there I knew I had a drug problem but I still thought that I could do it and not do it whenever I wanted. So when being released from jail 6 months later, I would do heroin once or twice a week, smoke weed occasionally and I had this under control. I was going to groups and meetings high but I would put on a show for everyone that I was doing good. I met my boyfriend at a meeting and We started hanging out, talking, and soon started a relationship.I hid using from him for a while.

Then within 6 months of being released from jail I was full blown addicted again. Stealing from my family, leaving the house at all hours of the night. My boyfriend started to catch on-he tried helping me but I just wasn’t having it. I was getting out of control once again. He saved my life by calling me in to the sheriff department and letting them know that I was coming back from Dayton with drugs and I was was arrested on August 2, 2016. I finally knew this wasn’t the life I wanted to live. I didn’t want my parents raising my son any longer, he was already 13 and I missed so much of his life already and put him through so much. I struggled with all the questions of can I do this? Do I deserve this? It went on and on and my answers always went back and forth. I knew I had to do something different this time. So rehab it was. The judge agreed to let me go to rehab so we started the process. Bed dates kept changing & I kept getting discouraged and losing hope. But with all the love and support and the encouraging letters I received from my son, my mother, all of my mothers friends, my father, my boyfriend and my pastor helped me not to give up. I still went back and forth on if this is what I wanted I was scared of the unknown. 2 months went by and still no bed date.

Then I got called out by my counselor September 30-a Friday- and she said “well are you ready to go to rehab October 4?” I couldn’t believe it because just the day before I was told it was going to be November before a bed would be open. That was my first realization…..God was real? I went to rehab scared but open minded. I put in a lot of hard work and dedication. Before I knew it December 13 came and I had completed rehab and was heading home. So many emotions going threw my head- I was scared, nervous, anxious, happy -you name it, I was feeling it. Before I left rehab I had set up an appointment with my counselor for the day I came home. While driving home from Bowling Green with my mom I was telling her about my appointment and that I would need a ride home from it. She had to work so she told me to try and ask her friend And she of course said yes and also invited me to go to revive with her and her husband. I didn’t know if I wanted to go so I said maybe. When she showed up to pick me up- I had decided to go.

That was the best decision I had made. I sat and listened the afterwards I met a recovery addict with my pastor! We talked and he shared part of his story with me. He asked me what my plan was …I had no clue, and he said… GOD. We talked and prayed and at that moment I actually handed it over to God and I left church that night not scared and with a weight lifted off my shoulders. I was confident that I could do this, but I couldn’t do it without God with me and along with the love and support from my family, my son, and all the loved ones in my life. From that point on on I have had many blessings. I have had support from my dear friend Kristin, she has always been here through all of this always trying to help me. She has helped me build my self esteem and confidence by helping me with hair appointments. She always has encouraging words to give me and I know I can always talk to her. She has never gave up on me. She didn’t just reach out one time and give up when I would ignore her help. She constantly supports me.

All of these people in my life today loved me at my worst , when I couldn’t even love myself and I am very blessed that all the loved ones in my life today never gave up even when I didn’t think I was worth the fight. They all believed In me and today I am finally getting my life back and actually living. And I know today I’m worth the fight! I am paying bills, paying off my debts, and I have a job that I love going to everyday. I actually enjoy waking up everyday clean and sober. Today I can proudly say I have been sober since August 2 of 2016!! If I can do this You can do this. Just never give up and just believe!!!